shaking body.

I managed not to binge lastnight while searching the internet for anything and everything thinspo. & i got to sleep at half twelve and woke up at half twelve so i got a good twelve hour sleep.
But i woke up to my whole body shaking and my head feels so heavy and sore my necks also killing me!
i was trying to text before i couldnt see the screen i was shaking that much. I might go and get some fruit juice or something to sort myself out. I feel like i could fast forever. Im considering becoming vegan, but then again i dont want people to think im a wierdo [cause thats how my friends would look at me] so i might just dislike alot of food, cause i mean ive got off a hell of alot of food recently.
Im shaking while typing this, its so hard to hit the right keys with my hands shaking so much! :(
Well anyways school tomorrow and when i get back from school i usualy head straight for the fridge and binge my fat ass off. But i'll try not to, since i've managed to fast for two days and by the time i get back from school it'll be three so i wont want to ruin it all by something that has 500 cal and i can only eat for two minutes.
I still havent weighed myself. When i've finised writing this im going to go down stairs and weigh then i'll edit it into this
Im trying to beat my longest fast which was 5 days so i think im going for a week this time maybe 10 days! :) then i know im going for the one apple a day chopped into 8 peices.

*I HAVE PUT ON 5LBS IN 26 DAYS! I SORE IT AND STARTED CRYING. I WENT FOR THE FRIDGE AND MANAGED NOT TO EAT I JUST DRANK ABOUT 25O CALS IN FRUIT JUICE! AM I REALLY GOING TO BE HAPPY AT THE END OF ALL THIS! WHEN I GET TO 95LBS. IM NOW ABOUT 131LBS SO I NEED TO LOOSE 36LBS. WHICH IS BASICALLY 3STONE.*

KG; ox

HELP.

Sorry to over load you with post's but..
I AM ABOUT TO BINGE! SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME THINSPIRATION..! :(

i win.

I have been fasting for 24 hours now then, since i didnt fast yesterday i started yesterday at seven and now its half seven today. so 24 hours of fasting done! no problem.


my mum went out food shopping today and bought loads of chocolate and all my favourite food! I could of cried when i sore it. :( but im going to stay strong. i feel hungry and when i feel hungry i start to feel beautiful!
Ive got my business coursework to keep my mind off things, i need to get my head down like! otherwise i will FAIL. :|
FYI;
I went to the bank today to get some money out and then i rememberd i forgot my pin so i felt like i right foool! Me & C have still fallen out & you knwo what i couldnt care any less as basically every lass has said she needs to get some real friends she only has me [who hates her] J [who dislikes her] and THIGHS [who is a sad lonely wierdo who also needs friends]. But yea im pretty happy at the moment now im getting back on track :)

KG; ox

PAH!

Did i fast? did i fuck.

I know over the weekend i can get back on track im going to make sure of it!
I CAN DO IT.
Thank you for everyone who have showed support for me for this past week or so where i have became a fat whore! :(
Morning scales. So i can face my sins!
& then whatever comes my way during the day :)
I wanted to go out & spend money, but i dont deserve it. So im savin it til i get to my goal weights!
Which i think is a good idea cause i love buying new things and whatever but id enjoy spending money mor ethen loosing weight so if i stop myself from spending then i'll want to loose it faster :)

I sore a gorgeous cardigan on the topshop website well two actually and its coming up to winter so i was going to buy one of them but, im waiting til ive got to my goal even tho one of them is about to go offline im not giving in, im sure there'll be more. I have money from selling some of my designer shoes on the internet & a blazer & dress i got about £60 & then ill get £12.50 lunch money every week & if i could see some more things would be good! :)

Anyways i have still fallen out with C & she has tried to make PJ fall out with me. Glad to say it didnt wok and everyone relised what a backstabbing cow she is! But im happy ive stood my ground and im not running back saying im sorry cause i meant every word i said! ;)

STAY STRONG.

KG;ox

handeling business.

Fuck my life.


by now i should be like food? whats that? its more like food? oh you mean the stuff i eat loads of when i get back from schoo, yea i know the stuff i dont keep out of my mouth.
PAH! im a fucking joke.
I mean ive cut down an awfull lot. But im still eating.
Tomorrow im not going promise anything, but im going to try my damn hardest! I promise i'll try hard.


My best friend C is talking to my best friend T. And i basically said look right if i did this to 1 or 2 then you wouldnt like me! its not that its T. Its that its my ex. and youre meant to be my bestfriend! and you should know better.
Then she started getting all cocky 'i never said you were my bestfriend mate.' well she obviously did for the past three years. & then she told me to get a life! I didnt reply cause i didnt want to argue just state my point.


I have so much work to do its unreal! if i want a disinction in my business btec studies then i have loaaaaaads of work to do, and i do want distinction and at the end of year 11 i want distinction * which means distinction on every peice of coursework. cause no exams in btec. so i need to get my head down.


me and my mother have made up, when i got back from my grans my mum gave me some new benefit make up which i loved & i loved her for giving me! It actually made my week!
But yea lots of work up in five hours for a shower and to get read for school, cause tomorrows photograph day.

KG; ox

this right here i swear will end to soon.

HA!
Well im home. My mum seems cool with me. I've got rid of my puppy today, cause i had no time for it & i know the lady i gave it to will love it. S & T are all over eachother & its actually killing me i was so angry before i was emailing a friend but actually bashing the life out of my keyboard, I could of started smashing my face off a wall! Back to school on tuesday.


Now im home im going to fast for as long as possible. No set time. Just until i get as thin as i want. Until i waste away.
I'll get on the scales tomorrow to find out my start weight because i know ive put alot on while ive been at my grans. You see shes fat & doesnt see that i dont like eating as much as she does!


But yes i am fasting as of now. & walking again. tomorrow you just wait! :)

KG; ox

i will never be skinny enough.

Im really sorry for my last few posts of me just complaining about being fat & my mother. When really the only ting to blame is my lack of will power. When really i cant complain about what ive done cause its the past, i need to think about what i will do next time! :)


I still stuck at my grans for another two days, I text my mum about going home & she said 'no the house is still upside down.' so im going to give her tp sunday morning then go home. Cause i need her to take me out and buy me some shoes. Then i need to come back to my grans to get my bag that i've ordered.
But my plan for when i get home is to either fast, which i'd prefer. Or to do the one apple cut into eight a day.
But im going to do my morning walk; 45mins.
Then my night time walk with P; 2/3 hours.
EVERYDAY.

KG; ox